Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
