And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
