you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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