ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
