That's intense
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
