I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
