WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it's like iHOP with fire
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
