They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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