ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she smelled like a LAN party
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
