don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
