So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just want to make out with him forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
