i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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