so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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