I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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