everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
