Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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