I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
