Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
