Ketchup is God's man juice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
