summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
