Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He kissed a someone with a penis
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
