I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
