I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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