How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
