You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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