Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
