just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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