If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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