My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This house was built for laser tag.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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