who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I looked at my own cervix.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
