We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
