you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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