i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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