well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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