DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
