So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
