I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
