if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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