Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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