Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
