dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
