I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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