"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish i was in the wii world.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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