she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
