He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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