She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
