So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said her name was "party"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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