I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize