we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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