i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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