Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
