Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
