hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
