It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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