my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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