who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
