So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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