before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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