sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
