there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
