we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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