At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
