oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
