being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize