he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
