Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
