i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
